Getting Hitched
“Dear Mike:
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day. “
You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three A.M., a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can only get out of a thing as much as you put in it. The man who puts into the marriage only half of what he owns will get that out. Sure, there will be moments when you will see someone or think back to an earlier time and you will be challenged to see if you can still make the grade, but let me tell you how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and charm with one woman for the rest of your life. Any man can find a twerp here and there who will go along with cheating, and it doesn't take all that much manhood. It does take quite a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if she was someone who caused you to be late coming home, nor should you want any other woman to be able to meet your wife and know she was smiling behind her eyes as she looked at her, the woman you love, remembering this was the woman you rejected even momentarily for her favors.
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least once a day. “
These wise words were
written, in love, from Ronald Reagan to his son before he married his wife. I
found this letter in a crumpled up readers digest that had been discarded in
the trash the day before. I don’t know why I felt the need to pick up the trash
and read it, but I’m sure glad I did. These words, while they weren’t written
to me, about me, or for me, are words that will stick with me.
I read the letter to Zach a few weeks ago. His listened intently and silently as I sputtered the words out to him. His words after I finished? “Ronald is right, thank you for reading that to me. I can’t wait to marry you.”
I read the letter to Zach a few weeks ago. His listened intently and silently as I sputtered the words out to him. His words after I finished? “Ronald is right, thank you for reading that to me. I can’t wait to marry you.”
“I can’t wait to marry you.”
That statement. Something we both have said to each other for months now, it’s
coming true and it’s coming fast. In 4 days I will be married woman. OH MY
GOSH. Reality really hit me a few days ago when we applied for our marriage
license. It’s a simple process yet terrifying as you swear with your right hand
held high that everything is correct and truthful to the full extent of your
knowledge. What if I made a mistake? Do I go to the detention center two
floors up if I wrote something wrong? I didn’t stay to find out. I swore in,
signed my name, and Zach and I bolted out of the Maleng Justice Center.
People ask me daily, “are you
ready?”, “are you excited?”, or my favorite “want to back out?”. Every day for
the last month I’ve heard that at LEAST 5 times a day, if not more. You know
what I’m ready for? To not hear those questions anymore.
There’s probably nothing more
weird to know that in less than a week, you’ll no longer be single. You wont
consult with yourself and you pocket book before you make a purchase. In one
week, I’ll be a married woman and a part of a whole.
The Lord has really blessed
me with some amazing people to help put this big show on. Never in my dreams
would I have had a wedding that was so organized and planned out down to the
last marshmallow. My mom, my dad, Zach’s parents, my sisters, their friends and
boy friends/husbands, and my parents friends have all taken time off and out of
their already busy lives to help me plan such a spectacular event. There’s
really no way to thank each person individually and that stresses me out but I
hope one day, they’ll know, without them, I wouldn’t have had a wedding. It
would have been more of a backyard get together.
To those of you celebrating
from a distance, thank you for loving Zach and I and keeping us in your thoughts
and prayers.
To those of you making the trek out to Auburn, I hope you eat all of the delicious asian food, cake, and chocolaty s'mores your little belly's can handle.
See you Saturday!
To those of you making the trek out to Auburn, I hope you eat all of the delicious asian food, cake, and chocolaty s'mores your little belly's can handle.
See you Saturday!
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